Oh hey, it’s me. Risen from the dead that was the holiday season. Yes, it’s been a while, but your girl is back and ready to kill the game. The past couple months have been filled with a lot of revelations (painful ones, but beautiful) and a refreshed energy. I got to travel for the holidays, a huge blessing and wonderful experience. But in coming back home, I struggled to get the engine started on recommitting to the hustle. I’d eaten everything in sight, let my routine go down the garbage disposal, and as a result I felt completely ungrounded (and also very bloated). Now, while I regret nothing (the food in LA is amazing and lacking no diversity whatsoever), we all have to pay the price for such extravagance. For the first couple of weeks back, I was consistently frustrated with my lack of motivation and general fuzziness. It took a bit of soul searching and dragging my feet to get back to the old habits I’d let slip away before I realized something pretty obvious: motivation is a luxury that comes and goes when it pleases. Commitment is something a little different.

The struggle I face as a creative entrepreneur (in the painful, early stages of this journey) is that I’m still forming my stride. So, I become confused when I’m not motivated to create because in the past I always created when I felt inclined to do so. But now, I am responsible for cultivating a lot of my own energy (read: drive) to get “work” done, which happens to fall in the category of creative passion–you see the confusion. Turns out, while I wouldn’t trade this for the world (working for myself as a creative artist is a dream come true) it requires a lot of inertia. Previously, that energy was provided for me by my environment, coworkers, superiors, etc.

Now, it’s pretty much just up to me. Yikes.

So, I’ve spent the last few weeks learning all the different ways I can fill my cup on my own, in order to be a better businesswoman AND a better artist. So far, this includes a lot of reading, YouTube videos, running, walking while reading with my sweet pup, meditating, early mornings with a big breakfast and coffee, tea before bed, and fun/creative photoshoots with friends. I hope and expect that the list will grow and change, as I grow and change as a woman, artist, and businessperson. I look forward to observing the patterns that are to follow.

But for now, I’m so so so happy to share the session I had with my close friend Kelsey, a talented actress, comedian, and general badass. I’m so grateful she lets me use her as my model when I’m itching to get away from the computer for a while and direct some more fun, styled sessions.

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